Friday, December 19, 2008

This afternoon L is going to a viewing. It's the first one she's ever had to attend and she wants to go without me with her friends. The viewing is for one of her close friends that committed suicide on Tuesday. Since school began in September, they have had six deaths at her high school; four students have killed themselves and two were killed in accidents.
It swirls around in my head that in this country of abundant things so many people are still empty. I'm so thankful for the blood of Christ that gives us abundant life, life that goes beyond this earthly, painful place.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Monday, December 15, 2008

Christmas at our house.

Trimming the tree.

We bought our elf ladder at a Christmas craft show when our firstborn was a baby. They stopped making the elves before our youngest was born so hers is unique.

Our star is like the one my husband remembers his family having on their tree. We've had ours for twenty years.

I made each of our Christmas stockings from a pattern I devised with my mom.
The kitchen

The Christmas village from my stepmother is set up in the dining room.

The living room tree
Thanks for stopping in and a blessed Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

This is me with my two brothers and our dog, Duke. We had just moved to our new house which was only about 2 miles from where we were living. Duke would not stay moved and had gone missing for several weeks. The day this picture was made, my Uncle had come by to see my mama and try out his new camera. It just so happened that Duke came by, too.
I spent today working on my mama's Christmas present. Last time I visited her she mentioned that she didn't have any pictures of her children when they were little. This is totally NOT true, although the family photos from my childhood are limited. First, because we didn't have a camera and second, because in the aftermath of my parent's divorce the few photos we did have got scattered and misplaced. I made copies of the handful of pictures that I have and put them in a photo album for her. There were only enough photos for about half the book so I left the facing pages blank. She does have some photos tossed around, tucked in miscellaneous nooks and crannies that she could scrounge up and stick in the book if she wants. I think my brother has some he could copy for her, too.
It took me all day, but the project is finished, leaving me quite nostalgic.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

I came across 2 empty liter beer bottles in the basement while throwing away old wrapping paper. And then I found a knapsack full of spray paint, probably about thirty cans of it. And a pipe for smoking dope. All this took place while hubs, S and L were at the Christmas parade. So when they came home, I sent the girls upstairs and Husband and I confronted S.
What is all this junk about?
I am so tired of listening to his explanations that are devoid of truth and personal responsibility. Everything is someone else's fault and while he admits that he went to work "f'd up", his contention is that nobody noticed and plays no part in the reason why he can't find a job. The pipe is his girlfriend's. The spray paint is for vandalizing at night, which, according to him, he isn't doing anymore. And I am just a big stupid snoop who doesn't see what the older brother is doing/has done and certainly didn't discipline. We only focus on S and unfairly at that. He just doesn't get why we won't let him do anything: drink, smoke dope, do drugs, spray paint the town. We are so un-flippin-reasonable.
He stormed out of the house.
I used to wonder what people meant when they said that Jesus was their life. Now I know because without Him, I would be in the pit of despair. I trust Him with my son's life and with mine. So, I am pressed down but not destroyed.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

It feels like snow. I wish it would snow and make everything clean and white.
I had a poor conversation with L this afternoon. She pretty much told me I didn't know what I was talking about; she hadn't said what I said she said. She's been in a foul mood lately and I think it's because of college applications and the stress of that. So, I quick-like-a-sponge take it on, too.
Thanksgiving was fun but hovering over us was "next year L will be coming home from school". I put up the Christmas decorations and she said "next year you'll have to wait for me to get home on break." This year's festivities are all tainted by the specter of next year.
It's a constant, subtle pressure on us all.
Meanwhile, S lives in the basement without a job. I am thankful that he is home and that God allows us to provide a home for him. I continue to pray for his sake that this arrangement is temporary. I see him struggling with his feelings about his younger sister preparing to go off and do what he did not. Still, I am thankful that they have this time together to heal and mend their relationship before they venture out into the world.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

My friend e-mailed me this:
A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She
presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb
and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard
to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may
surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders,
6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!
1. Don't change horses until they stop running.
2. Strike while the bug is close.
3. It's always darkest before Daylight Saving Time.
4. Never underestimate the power of termites.
5. You can lead a horse to water but How?
6. Don't bite the hand that looks dirty.
7. No news is impossible
8. A miss is as good as a Mr.
9. You can't teach an old dog new Math
10. If you lie down with dogs, you'll stink in the morning.
11. Love all, trust Me.
12. The pen is mightier than the pigs.
13. An idle mind is the best way to relax.
14. Where there's smoke there's pollution.
15. Happy the bride who gets all the presents.
16. A penny saved is not much.
17. Two's company, three's the Musketeers.
18. Don't put off till tomorrow what you put on to go to bed.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and You
have to blow your nose.
20. There are none so blind as Stevie Wonder.
21. Children should be seen and not spanked or grounded.
22. If at first you don't succeed get new batteries.
23. You get out of something only what you See in the picture
on the box
24. When the blind lead the blind get out of the way.
25. A bird in the hand is going to poop on you.
And the WINNER and last one!
26. Better late than Pregnant

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Daddy went to church on Sunday. They had a Veteran's Day celebration honoring all the vets in the community. My nephew pushed his chair down the aisle. When I talked to him on the phone about it, I felt excited and happy for him. After church they went to lunch with his brother and his wife. They all ate at a Mexican restaurant where daddy said he showed great restraint with the chip basket.
When I saw the pictures I was reminded that afterwards, he didn't return home. He went back to the "rehab center". I think daddy summed it up best when he told me "It doesn't matter what the doctors say; I have to do what my wife wants if I want to go home." What his wife wants is for him to be able to walk with a walker and take basic care of himself.
I don't know if that's going to happen.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Finding a fit

After the disappointment L experienced at Point Park, this weekend was a blessing. She liked the head of the jazz department at ECU and she likes the campus. She also said that she was excited about having a real college experience as opposed to the more singular experience of a small conservatory.
She and I attended a football game, ECU vs Marshall. It was homecoming weekend so there was a big crowd. The pirates won in overtime, making for an exciting game. At one point she hugged me and said "We'll be pirates together, mom!"
My grandmother, my daddy's mama, went to school at ECU when it was East Carolina Teacher's college, probably 1917. She stayed in the same dorm that L wants to stay in, Cotton. My step-mother went there and stayed in Cotton. My aunt went there and stayed in Cotton. And last, but not least, I went there.
My daddy is so excited that she wants to go to ECU. It's only about thirty minutes from where he lives and when we visited him at the rehab center she told him that she would come and visit him often. Even though it's four and a half hours away, it doesn't seem so far when it's so close to my girlhood home.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

My hubby and I were bizzing through Target when we spied a pair of navy "footie pajamas" with rocket ships on them. S had only just the day before pointed some out to me in a catalog, remarking that they were really cool. The pair hubby and I saw were only $12.99 and were just big enough to fit him. We bought them for him as a little joke.
He's staying in the basement because, after his last exit, I converted his room into a guest room. The cleaning lady comes on Thursday mornings to clean the bathrooms and has had to tiptoe past him in order to clean the basement bathroom. Last night at about 3 am, I heard S come up the stairs and go down the hall to the guest room. He had decided to sleep in there so the cleaning lady wouldn't wake him up.
When I got up this morning I peeked in and saw him curled up on the bed in his footie pajamas, his glasses on the floor and his hair sticking up. He looked like he did when he was three.
For a moment I just stood looking at him, not thinking about all that's behind or ahead. No matter where we go from here, it's good to have him home.

Monday, November 3, 2008

This article is from PowerUp! from Spiritled Woman.
Monday, November 3, 2008


By Margaret English

While watching Gov. Sarah Palin speak to voters in Pennsylvania this morning, with her precious children standing behind her, a scripture from Judges 5 stirred in my heart. In it, Israel's judge Deborah said, "I, Deborah, arose, a mother in Israel."

Judges 5:6 says, "In the days of Shamgar the son of Anath, in the days of Jael, the highways were deserted, and travelers went by roundabout ways." She lived in dangerous times when people couldn't walk outside at night. Evils lurked everywhere.

What was Deborah's response to the evil time in which she lived? This mother in Israel looked around and saw a scene much like what we see today. Did she feel sorry for herself? Did she run around and try to find someone to save her? That is learned helplessness, and much of the church has learned it, especially women. But Deborah didn't shrivel up. She got up—she took action.

Deborah stopped sitting down and letting the enemy run over her and her children. She stopped wringing her hands and living in fear. Judges 5:7 says, "Until I Deborah arose, a mother in Israel." She rose up as a mother, because she understood that God had given her a powerful position in her home, her community and her nation. In fact, what role is more powerful than a mother's role? Many mothers will fight to the death for the safety of their children. A mother learns how to live for the welfare and best interests of others every day of her life.

In ancient times, when times became truly tough and evils lurked everywhere, when enemies increased and people were pressed down, God raised up a woman, Deborah, a mother in Israel. I was inspired as I heard Sarah Palin speak so eloquently about fighting for the needs of a nation in difficult times. Like Deborah, Sarah has risen up as mother in America, to make a difference for those she loves.

Interestingly enough, the great general in Deborah's time said he wouldn't go into battle without her. And today, Senator John McCain has insisted on having Sarah at his side. Together, Deborah and her general defeated the enemy. Deborah was a judge who knew how to call upon the Lord. In battle, God fought for them, and the enemy was destroyed by the hands of yet another woman, Jael (Judges 4:21).

"Jael, Heber's wife, took a tent peg and seized a hammer in her hand and went secretly into him and drove it through his head." Interestingly, this enemy's gruesome death reflects a promise spoken of womankind in Genesis. God prophesied that the seed of the woman would crush the head of the serpent (see Gen. 3:15). Way back at the beginning of time, God said that women would have a hand in the destruction of Satan.

I'm so proud of Sarah Palin, a modern-day mother in America who has risen up in difficult times to take a stand for what she believes in. But what about you and me? The prophet Isaiah calls to women in the end-times. He says, "Rise up you women who are at ease….Until the Spirit is poured out upon us from on high" (Isa. 32:9,15).

Is God waiting for us to take a stand? I recall a service in which I had been asked to speak. But as someone's talk droned on, my mind had drifted away into other things. There I was passively daydreaming. When it finally struck me that all eyes were on me, waiting for me to speak, I was stunned.

Perhaps that is where you are today. Your mind is on other things, but heaven's eyes are on you, waiting for you to rise up and take your place, to stand up as a mother in Israel. Perhaps, if you listen carefully, you'll hear the Lord clearing his throat and whispering, "It's your turn to speak up."

This week pray for our nation as never before and ask God to help you make a lasting difference in establishing righteousness in it once again. Ask Him to forgive us where we've not taken a strong enough stand against the things that displease Him. Thank Him that we still have free elections and pray for a safe, peaceful Election Day and a smooth transition period. Continue to bless Israel and pray for its protection, for our military and for those persecuted around the world because of their faith. Pray for President Bush as he completes his term of office. 2 Chron. 7:14

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Because He Lives

When I get stressed about the upcoming election, I listen to this.

Thursday, October 30, 2008


God had a message for me yesterday at the hairdressers. My hairdresser asked me how my kids were doing and I started telling her how S had moved back home. She began telling me about a client she has who discovered that her son had issues because he walked too early.
And I sat there.
Then she told me about a client whose 30 year old son had moved back home, rent free and was traveling and enjoying himself thinking that his mom was okay with it while the mom, also her client, had told her that she was going to have to ask him to pay rent.
And I sat there.
And finally she told me about a client she has that is a fortune teller. She was quite serious as she said "You should see him. Maybe he can help you out."
And still, I sat there.
In the car on the way home I felt so disappointed in myself that I didn't speak up and say "I have confidence that the Lord is working in my son." I wondered what I had said to her that made her think I was soliciting advice and then the Lord showed me that the whole of what I said about my situation with my son implied that I had no confidence in Him whatsoever. I sounded like all the other clients she has: I have a problem and I don't know what to do-even though that isn't what I said. It's how I said what I did say and of course, what I didn't say.
Do everything without grumbling and complaining. It's an instruction that I haven't followed. When people see me they don't see my faith at all because I'm too busy grumbling and complaining along with the rest of world.
How will others see the Lord in my life if my presentation of what is going on in it is the same as those who don't know Him?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Menopause Parking by Chonda Pierce

Chonda says things so well. She's my hero.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Daddy isn't going to be able to go home as hoped. He just can't stand without assistance since the stroke. The plan now is to move to a rehabilitation facility closer to his house for a few weeks and see if he can make enough progress to be cared for at home. The ironic thing is, he came through the by-pass surgery with flying colors.
My prayer is that he can come home and spend his later days on the land where he where he was born, raised and lived all his life.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

His mysterious ways

L left the audition feeling very disappointed and let down. After all the build up and excitement, she didn't like the very modern style of jazz at Point Park. She made herself finish the audition but she didn't want to stay for the tour. She just wanted to go home.
I was quite amazed. Of all the possible scenarios, this wasn't one I had envisioned.
So now, we are back on the hunt for where to go to school. I'm hoping for a Virginia school: in-state tuition!
S appeared on our doorstep Sunday night. He claims it's over with he and his girlfriend but I suspect he's just tired of hearing her tell him to GET A JOB. We've let him spend the last few nights here but he needs to GET A JOB. I feel like we're right back where we were when he graduated from high school. He doesn't know what to do, he says. So he does nothing. Plays video games and watches t.v. All his stuff is at her parent's house and I'm pretty sure we aren't letting him bring it here unless he has a plan like GET A JOB.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Audition time

Tomorrow we're loading up the car and heading up to Pittsburgh ( ) for L's audition on Friday. She's come around in her thinking and has a good perspective about it. She is, I think, prepared to do her best and accept the outcome.
The outcome for me is the same, no matter what happens at this particular audition. She'll be leaving home.

Monday, October 13, 2008

I left Friday for Capon Springs feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. I came home today feeling at peace and relieved. The weather was beautiful; the friends, comforting. The entire weekend served to restore my spirits. God is good to me, a silly woman who flies off in a flurry of fear at the first sign of trouble.

Friday, October 10, 2008

In a few hours, we're off to Capon Springs for a weekend of rest, relaxation and fellowship with friends. We're staying in the main house which I love in the fall. This weekend, however, the weather report indicates that it's going to be warm, probably too warm for a fire in the fireplace. It won't matter, though, because it's Capon and not much stresses me there!
We'll get there in time for bingo tonight. I hope I win some cookies.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

mini meltdown

uhh. I saw the glaucoma doc again today. The drops aren't working and I have to switch to some new ones. She did the visual field test and I have a blind spot in my left eye. She also showed me the photos of my optic nerves; the right eye being healthy and the left eye...not.
So I'm doing okay with this I think and then I get the new medicine, some kind of beta-blocker and I'm reading the precautions which include: You may need to stop taking this medication a few days before surgery. This warning brings to mind that the results from my unpleasant test at the gyn's merits a minor surgery to rule out anything more serious. I've never had to be put to sleep before. I don't want any kind of surgery, minor or otherwise and I've successfully put it out of my mind until this label on the eye drops insert.
I called my mama and boohooed.
I feel better.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Going down to NC and visit daddy in the hospital in Greenville. He had a double by-pass on Wednesday after a mild heart attack on Saturday night. Of course, he waited until late Sunday afternoon to tell his wife that he thought something had "gone wrong" the night before. He's stubborn about going to the doctor; I've inherited some of his fears so even though he frustrates me about it, I understand. For now, the doctors say he's recovering well.
L doesn't want to go with us. She's going to miss seeing her friends. I believe this is a choice she has to make herself and so she told me she was going to spend the night with her friend while we were gone. I told her I was disappointed. Grandpa is family and is facing the end of his days. We have fewer and fewer times with him but ultimately, she has to live with her decision.
S, who is without a job and has the time to come with us, can't because his girlfriend won't drive herself into DC to her job and the train doesn't run on the weekend and her parents are out of town so he has to drive her. J hasn't been able to find time to call him. SK is still young enough to do as we say.
All of it makes me wonder what my grandchildren will feel about visiting me when I'm sick, or well for that matter. I don't want to be a parent that stops investing in my family as they grow up and into their own lives. I pray I can be a blessing to my grandchildren and someone they want to be with.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

It's time to order graduation announcements. I'm trying to adjust my vision from the little bit of a girl she was to the young woman she's become.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

This picture was taken a few months ago on a bright day for S; he had enrolled in school, had a new job and his dad had bought him this car. My heart was hopeful for him.
Since then, he's totaled the car, dropped out of school and yesterday, was fired from his job. I'm trying hard to have hope for him but my heart knows that he has a larger problem that can't be fixed until he admits to it. I can't let myself think about how long, if ever, that might take. I take it day by day. Thankful for each day the Lord lets him live, praying that this day will be the day he comes to his senses.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Get ready. We're going somewhere.

Bible study is underway. I'm doing a Precepts class on the book of Philippians. Today was a wham on the top of my head. Kay Arthur talked about how Paul could endure imprisonment because he understood that it furthered the gospel and his goal in life was to that end. She spoke about how many Christians today fight with their circumstances and have regrets over their past because they don't grasp the sovereignty of God over their lives. Their goal as Christians is not about furthering the gospel. Their Christianity is about what God can do for them to make their life better.
I certainly have spent a lot of time fighting my circumstances. I've wanted God to make things right and have not trusted that He is using the wrongness of my situation to work according to His plan. I've regretted things I've done and things I haven't instead of releasing those regrets to God and allowing Him to change me.
It reminds me of when my children were small and I would tell them to Go get ready, we're going somewhere. They never wanted to go. They would dally and sometimes just plain throw a fit that I was interrupting their activities. It didn't matter that we were going for a treat or a trip to the park. They just didn't want to put on their shoes and sit strapped in their car seats. They couldn't appreciate the destination because of the journey.
I suspect that when I see the Lord and the wonders of eternity I will marvel at myself that I resisted the trials and troubles that God used to bring me there. He has promised no more tears or sorrows. What a magnificent place that must be! Why do I throw a fit and refuse to put on my shoes?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Slipping Through My Fingers Sing Along W/ Lyrics

I was having a grand time at the movies today with my friend and then along came this song.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Off we go

L has her audition for Point Park University in Pittsburgh, Pa. on October 17th! She's spreading those wings getting ready to fly.

Thursday, September 4, 2008


Well, I got a little shocker this morning at the eye doctor's office. I wasn't very worried about seeing her because the last eye doctor I saw said that although I have high eye pressure in my left eye, he didn't think I had glaucoma. This eye doctor is a glaucoma specialist and the other doctor just wanted to cover all the bases (as he put it).

So she looked in my eyes with a really bright light and then began talking about what glaucoma is and how they treat it and I said in what I know was a dumbfounded voice, "Are you telling me that I have glaucoma?". She said, "Yes, I'm telling you that you have glaucoma." She wasn't very happy with me because I said "I don't know anyone who has glaucoma. How did I get glaucoma?" She responded with "How does anybody get anything? I'm a specialist. I don't know how you got it but I know you have it." I'm not a real quick witted woman. I was in shock, I think. After looking at me for a second she said "You didn't expect to hear this, did you?".

She may know about glaucoma but she's a little behind on reading her patients.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008


I've just decided that gone are the days when I welcomed September. When I was young and the kids were young, September was a time of promise; learning new things, a few hours to myself or to give some extra attention to the babes still at home.
But since that first child's senior year in high school, September has been the bell toll of stress and mayhem. Stress on the senior, stress from the senior. And here I am again, the bell tolling away at the start of L's senior year. Already she's wigged out over her schedule which, she believes, MUST be changed. Today was the first day of classes. She said they went well. Then, she proceeded to wig out over the hour wait between ballet classes.
I mailed off her application to audition at a dance conservatory in Pennsylvania. Stress for me. I don't really want to do this college thing again. Here she is crying and sobbing over having to take ballet. I didn't do too well. Showed my nasty side and said "I don't know why you think you want to study dance if 1 hour a week lag time is doing a number on you." Good grief. It was ugly. A screaming match. Why the heck do I care?!
Son number 2 flunked out of art school. There is nothing I can do for him. He doesn't call or come around and I think I have to just wait on the Lord. I wonder what the mother of the prodigal son was doing as the father watched their youngest son run off down the road? Did she cry and say "Go after him!"? Did she ask his friends where he was, who he was with, if he was eating? I think she must have had to follow the lead of her husband and wait for the boy to come to his senses and return on his own.
The oldest came home for the weekend. His first September where he wasn't off to school. He was a little melancholy and perhaps that rubbed off on me. It was hard to watch him board the bus for NYC knowing that he's in limbo.
I really must get myself A LIFE.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

A better day

Yesterday was kinda stressful. I had a test that's been rumoured to be painful at the ob/gyn. And God was good, as usual. First of all, I liked the doc. She was only a little younger than me-late 40ish-and listened well. Even though she didn't say "I don't think you need the test" she was very comforting about what it involved and how painful it might actually be as opposed to what I may have heard. I'm thinking "I can do this!" As I'm sitting on the table without my pants waiting for the doctor to return, the technician comes in and gets out medical stuff like scissors, giant swabs, and a bowl. I began to have a panic attack and thought "No, not doing this after all." My pants are not that far away and nobody is around. But then God said "You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you." So I thought "Well, Lord, better get to strengthening." Which He did. The doctor also came in just then and even though she's doing a test in which I am in a compromised position, I didn't want her to see me going across the room without my pants on. She just went about it with an of course you are having the test done attitude, leaving me with no good way out. There is no telling how God will do His strengthening. In the end, the test wasn't so painful, just made me feel a little sick to my stomach afterward.
Then I had an eye doctor appointment to see why the pupil in my left eye is constricted when the pupil in my right eye is not. I'm having to put drops in the left for high optic pressure. I previously knew nothing about optic pressure but now know more than I care to. Anyway, on a shopping trip with my girls, L suddenly looked at me and said "Mom! Your eyes look really freaky!" so I called and asked if it was the medicine and my doctor wasn't there and the other doctor said no, it isn't the medicine and come in and see your doctor. So after the ob/gyn, I went and sat for a very long time in the waiting room of the eye doctor. At last, he came in, looked at my pupils and said "It's the medicine." The tech who told me to come in said "But Dr XYZ said it wasn't!" And my doc said "Well, he doesn't know everything." I laughed myself silly and said "Then I'm glad you're my doctor".
This morning I awoke to grey cloudy skies. It's finally raining after a long dry spell. It's going to be a better day.

Monday, August 11, 2008

13 going on growed

SK is sporting her new hairdo and unlike the last one, this one makes her look older. She loves it and I do not.
We put up her loft bed and took our her princess bed. When we asked her what to do with her princess bed she said she didn't care. I, on the other hand, thought and thought about how to hang on to it. Ultimately, we gave it away. I immediately regretted that decision. I was not ready but nobody asks me if I'm ready before they start growing themselves up.
It's wild to watch the Olympics after our trip in September to Beijing. Such a different culture and yet, we see things that we recognize.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

J, S, L & SK

The best part of the wedding was having all my offspring together.

Friday, August 1, 2008


We've been home from Myrtle Beach for 12 hours and already the Yeah I'm Home feeling is ppfffting right out of me.
L is having her senior pictures taken today. ppfft
I never did find a dress to wear to this wedding. Believe me, I looked. I wanted something that was weddingish and didn't accentuate my mature woman's body. I couldn't find a one. Dresses must be out in general because the one's I saw and the few I tried on shall I say it..ugly. Nor did I find shoes to go with the dress I decided to wear (which has been hanging in my closet for two years unworn because I bought it on clearance from Coldwater Creek online and it was a tad outdated even then). ppfft
Worry about S is edging in. I talked to him before we left and he said he was all scratched up and banged up from "play fighting" with a guy at work. So. Since when do 20 year olds play fight? He said he wanted to stay over tonight and make sure he's ready and here to leave for the wedding but he hasn't answered my texts or called or made contact. ppfft
I have a medical test looming out there on Tuesday which, by all accounts, is painful. I could not have it I guess. I'm grown. ppfft
I promised our youngest that she could cut her hair after competition and teenager up her room. She's already started asking WHEN are we getting my new room? my haircut? ppfft
Precious 19 year old K is getting married tomorrow. That's not exactly a ppfft but it causes a little nostalgic heartache.
Okay, that's over. I feel much better.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

We're all tuckered out from a week of dance competition. Finally all the rehearsing is over (until September) and we're all looking forward to a month of DO NOTHING summer.
After the wedding of my bf's daughter on Saturday, that is.

Thursday, July 24, 2008


L turned 17 on Tuesday. She hated this picture because she'd been dancing all day and looked like it.
We had a Coldstone cake and a few token presents. Her big present is a weekend trip in August on the Bolt bus to NYC. She's going alone (WHAT was I thinking?) and staying with her biggest brother. They'll be going to a show and hanging out. He says if she's going to be a dancer, she needs to get the feel of NYC and I need to get the feel of her going there by herself.

He cracks me up.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Coney Island

J says that there is debate in NYC over Coney Island.
There is a possibility that it'll close.
So, on our visit last weekend we decided to go see Coney Island while we still had the opportunity. It was not what I expected-so much beach! The kids were bummed that we didn't bring swim suits. They did get to ride the ferris wheel (I stayed on the ground) and we ate a Nathan's hotdog. I LOVE hotdogs and these were tasty.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

mother thought

My little nephew is turning 7. He has twin big sisters who turned 11 last month. It's my SIL's family and they live in California. We don't see them very often. In fact, the last time I saw them was for my oldest's graduation from high school. We were chatting on the phone and she said that you yearn for this concept of family, not realizing that it isn't a static thing that you can hold onto. You imagine a house full of perpetual preschoolers and suddenly you have a house full of pre-teens. And I said suddenly you have a house that isn't full at all.
I read the blogs of younger moms with younger kids and the joy of motherhood explodes off the pages. They are giddy at their good fortune; most are hitting their stride. The most difficult part of mothering is hovering in the distant future: the letting go. We must decrease in the lives of our offspring so they can live fully on their own. I suspect we mothers all say we know that our children are only borrowed but somewhere along the way our hearts don't process the message. Somehow it always is shocking when moving day arrives and they are off on their own.
I would be content to park in phase one of mothering and live forever but God is always pushing me on into the current of life. Enjoy the view but don't put up a tent.

Sunday, July 6, 2008


Back from one of our best vacations in a long while. Great weather, friends, food and games. Read a couple of good mystery novels, visited the spa, napped and just yakked with the ladies.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Vacation rambling

We are leaving tomorrow for this place: It is the most relaxing vacation I've ever been on. Our good friends, who are actually surrogate family, have gone there all their lives and their children's lives but we are new to the place. It's not easy to describe why it's so great; you have to go to Capon to discover if you're a Capon person or not.
Today I'm packing and getting some good books to read. We're all just fiddling around until we can get there.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Summer morning

I can tell that summer is finally here because I am unable to leap up in the morning and get going. Every summer I say I'm going to leap up early and get going and every summer I hit snooze and just lay there, knowing that the house will be quiet until midday when the girls roll out of bed.
Yesterday morn I went out onto the front porch to water the three potted plants I'm trying not to kill and locked myself out of the house. It's easier to do than you might think. I was in my pajamas so even though it was a beautiful summer morning, I was eager to get back in. I rang the doorbell nonstop and knocked on the door at the same time for about, I don't know, a really long time. My mind kept going to that scripture where Jesus says "Knock and the door will be opened." Scripture can actually help you keep your cool in most situations.
At long last L stumbled bleary-eyed down the stairs exclaiming "I'm so sorry! How long have you been out there?"
"A while." I coolly replied.
The youngest followed her down the stairs and began snickering uncontrollably and when I asked her what was so dang funny, she replied that she heard me out there and thought I was the clothes dryer gone berserk.
I ain't buying it.