Tuesday, September 2, 2008


I've just decided that gone are the days when I welcomed September. When I was young and the kids were young, September was a time of promise; learning new things, a few hours to myself or to give some extra attention to the babes still at home.
But since that first child's senior year in high school, September has been the bell toll of stress and mayhem. Stress on the senior, stress from the senior. And here I am again, the bell tolling away at the start of L's senior year. Already she's wigged out over her schedule which, she believes, MUST be changed. Today was the first day of classes. She said they went well. Then, she proceeded to wig out over the hour wait between ballet classes.
I mailed off her application to audition at a dance conservatory in Pennsylvania. Stress for me. I don't really want to do this college thing again. Here she is crying and sobbing over having to take ballet. I didn't do too well. Showed my nasty side and said "I don't know why you think you want to study dance if 1 hour a week lag time is doing a number on you." Good grief. It was ugly. A screaming match. Why the heck do I care?!
Son number 2 flunked out of art school. There is nothing I can do for him. He doesn't call or come around and I think I have to just wait on the Lord. I wonder what the mother of the prodigal son was doing as the father watched their youngest son run off down the road? Did she cry and say "Go after him!"? Did she ask his friends where he was, who he was with, if he was eating? I think she must have had to follow the lead of her husband and wait for the boy to come to his senses and return on his own.
The oldest came home for the weekend. His first September where he wasn't off to school. He was a little melancholy and perhaps that rubbed off on me. It was hard to watch him board the bus for NYC knowing that he's in limbo.
I really must get myself A LIFE.


Profbaugh said...

Well, if it's any comfort, I know how you feel!! Being a mom especially when they're leaving the nest and getting ready to leave the nest is not for the weak hearted!! Seriously, there are days when I wonder how I'll maintain my sanity. Thank goodness for my sweet Jesus who's there by my side helping me bit by bit.

Kids! I could write volumes and perhaps one day I will. But for now, it's enough to know that I've made it through another day.

I hope the same is true for you, my friend. Know that I'm praying for you!!

Much love,

Jan said...

I am in the same boat right now. The hormones are in full force right now, my sons aren't walking with the Lord, I've been in the pit for months etc etc... But you're right. We'll never ever understand any of this until we see Him face to face. Keep praying and DO WHAT YOU KNOW TO DO.

Praying for you,

PJ said...

That sending kids off to college -- or marriage -- is (in my oh so humble opinion) the most stressful time of parenting. We cry when the little one goes to first grade, or takes the bus. But we know good and well s/he'll be home at the end of the day and we have another 12 years. But when that senior year hits, or when they really do take off to college, they are out of our control. It is beyond our power to smooth things over for them. They have to make it as an adult. I think nothing is harder!!!
If you're concerned about how you can still shape the behavior of adult children, read this article about a happy marriage. Just substitute the word "Adult Child" when she talks about spouse. Decide the behaviors you want, and tame your little ones who've grown up.

Jill said...

Hang in there. Praying for you

He Knows My Name said...

hi kathy, just having fall in the air makes me melancholy and it doesn't help to know time with my mom is shorter and shorter. she is doing some better.

what insight you had to ask the question what on earth was the mother of the prodigal doing? i love it and never thought of that. she was praying like we are no doubt. funny, when my son was not at home what he was eating was on our mind 24/7. we find out tomorrow about if his car can be fixed or not. so he has a 17,000 loan, made one payment, the second one was made after the accident. i'll stop here.

i used to think i needed a LIFE but every time i tried to get a LIFE someone needed me H-O-M-E.

hugs (loved the pictures!) janel