Thursday, October 4, 2007


So many things seem to be piling up. I need to get on my knees and stay there so that I don't fall back into that dark hole called depression. Jet lag and that woman's time have me emotionally zapped. My 16 year old daughter pulled a wear one thing to school and come home wearing another less appropriate item on me.
What really has me by the heart is my 19 year old son. I spent the morning with him. He lost his car keys and couldn't get his car home from the parking lot of his job. He'd left the car there all night which didn't make my husband happy. Since my son doesn't have a phone, I had to drive over with the spare. In the meantime my son found his keys. We went and made more copies of his keys; I bought him some food. He came home to get his laundry and then he dumped all his troubles with his girl on me. They each have a drug and alcohol problem but his story is that she's the one with the problem. I tried to say the right things but I don't want to just say the right thing. I want to say the thing that will change his heart and God isn't giving me those words. And then at the end of the conversation he told me he was worried about his boss thinking he was taking money from the safe. I wish more than anything I believed him when he said he wasn't. But I don't. I'm asking God to reveal the truth to his boss and I'm asking Him to help me accept whatever that is.
For the first time in ages, we are all six going away as a family this weekend to Capon Springs. I want to be glad that my 19 year old son is coming with us but I know it means that all the heartache will be there too. This burden makes me so weary. I keep giving it to the Lord; it just keeps coming back.


Susan said...


I'm praying that the Lord will use this family time of all of you together to minister to your prodigal son. My heart aches for you, Kathy. I know that it is so very difficult, heartbreaking, frustrating to watch your child go through something that you really can't help him/her with.

Praying for you.



Susan said...

Hey Kathy. Just checking on you. Wanted you to know I was thinking of you.


Darla said...

Do you know that what you are going through about 80% have or will go through it? I am going to pray for you and keep really does help. My daughter has done the same thing, and I know plenty with addictions and it is always someone else...but nothing is tooo hard for our God.