Monday, October 15, 2007

Psalm 32

I watched lesson 4 of A woman's Heart on my computer tonight. I took my oldest son back to college last week on my bible study day and missed it and tomorrow is lesson 5. I was stunned when one of Beth's scripture references was Psalm 32. She talked about forgiveness and believing that Jesus has done the work and how we are doubting Him when we keep re-confessing the same old same old. The stunning part was that our pastor preached on the very same scripture on Sunday. I've lived enough to know He's trying to tell me something. Maybe He just sees me leaning over the pit peaking in.
I've spent more time than usual lately with my wayward son. I've confessed all my failure and junk around that relationship to God. But when I'm around my boy and hear his take on his messed up life, I start beating myself up again.
Okay, so maybe I know exactly what He's telling me.

5 comments:

Susan said...

I'll be watching lesson 4 today or tomorrow. Can't wait! I've been doing the same...see My Girl struggle with her emotions and seeing her clearly frustrated and defeated has made me recognize and deal with my part in it. But ultimately, He is remindng me over and over, that He really IS the One in control.
Hugs...Susan

Karen H TX said...

I guess I maybe on the same path with you on some stuff. One of my 3 sons is doubting everything he was taught to believe and saying he only believed because he was a kid and we told him it was true. I saw that little boy ask Jesus to be his savior and be baptized. Now he walks his own direction. I pray for him to have an encounter with God that he will know it is God and he can believe for himself not for me or his dad. He's questioning, which is okay, I'm just worried that he's listening more to friends(who of course know everything) instead of those who truly love and care for him. Thanks for sharing. I know I'm not the only mom who takes on the guilt of "if I would have done" or "where did I fail him". But we don't have to carry that. We raise them to be independant, but don't always like the choices they will make. As I'm sure our parents felt some of the same things. Thanks for your post
Karen

Susan said...

Kathy, our oldest has been "easier" in a sense. We have not had to deal with the heartbreak that you have, although I'm not so naive nor smug to think it couldn't happen tomorrow. But he has his own "issues" of course. My Girl...she and I are a lot alike. But she's learning a lot earlier what it took me years and years to get and I think it is because she knows Who she belongs to. I didn't at her age. And The Man and I are so trying to help them work things out now that we never had help with growing up. Our youngest, The Little Boy, at 11...almost 12 is and has always been the ONE. The one that has had to have stitches. The one that totally disregards what we tell him...he takes it all as "suggestions", I'm convinced! He is the one that announced last year that he finally knew his calling...to be The Class Clown. He's a leader, all right. He leads them all down the wrong path and into trouble! And you know...I know that God has a plan for this boy, too. I just have to keep telling myself that over and over and over. He has a plan for your boy(s), too. You are constantly in my prayers, Kathy, along with your family. He WILL help us get through it and He WILL redeem our children. I am convinced!
Hugs...Susan

He Knows My Name said...

kathy i am so glad to stumble on your post thru LPM blog. i to have children exactly your boys age that are not walking with the lord. we must never give up hope. we must denounce all satan's attacks. God can redeem all our junk and make it good. i struggle with exactly what you blog about even, ya even tho i know it is a lie. if you ever need to talk and not on this blog please let me know at my blog site. i will lift you and the boys up in prayer, please remember mine.

believing God in this human skin.

~janel

Linda said...

Kathy, thanks for visiting 2nd Cup. I have three teenagers, so my heart goes out to you. Two are in college, and I know they must find their own faith. My mother's heart sympathizes with your guilt feelings. The only thing more sure in motherhood than sleepless nights is guilt. Hang in there; He is faithful!