Sixteen

My girl will be sixteen on Sunday. I was doing okay with this, I thought, until I went in the grocery store to order a picture cake. I had made a sweet sixteen page with this baby picture and one of her from homecoming with absolutely no tears. I pranced right to the bakery department to order my cake. The bakery lady said she had to make sure the picture cake machine was working and after a few moments she came over and said "This is what it will look like." It was as if I saw the thing for the very first time and tears jumped totally unbiddened to my eyes. I could only nod as the bakery lady smiled knowingly at me. "She's lovely." she said. I just smiled and nodded feeling like a doddering old woman.

This baby girl was totally unexpected. I had two boys and fully expected a third son, although my heart ached for girlness and shared womanhood. The ob told me that if I was a having a third child just to have a girl I was making a terrible mistake. I thought I would explode from anticipation until in my 19th week of pregnancy, the day after seeing my baby spin and spin on the ultrasound, my doctor called and said he had gotten back some test results that could indicate the baby had downs syndrome. He wanted to know what I wanted to do: have an amnio right away and rule out any doubt or have further tests that would be inconclusive but would give a better indication of the risks. He said there were risks with an amnio and unless we would want to end the pregnancy he advised against it. We decided to wait.

One morning a few weeks later I lay in bed talking to God about this baby. I knew I loved him/her no matter what. I felt the Lord's presence so intensely. He told me that everything would be okay; my baby would be fine. I felt at peace, although I didn't advertise the baby would be fine part. I wasn't sure what He meant by fine. I just knew we would handle it.

When she was born, my doctor said "It's perfectly healthy and it's the right sex, too!" And he laid her on my chest. I looked down at my new baby and thought "Somethings wrong with my little son" as my husband's words began to sink into my bleary brain: "She's a girl!"

And what a girl she is. A little firecracker not big as a minute for most of her life always trying to hang with her two older brothers. She's a friend to her cranky mama and has taught me unconditional love when it comes to her older brother. She loves with her whole heart and has a big laugh that she busts out with regularly. God blessed me with her and she blesses me every single day.