Sunday, May 11, 2008

My best friend's granny was a strong woman of faith. She had three sons, one of whom was killed in a tractor accident. My friend's dad is a good man and a good son. He lived near his mother and cared for her in her declining years. She loved him and was, I believe, a good mother to him.

Then there is her third son. He was raised with the same love and care given to my friend's dad but he would vanish for long periods of time without a word. He drinks. He uses and abuses family love and privilege without ever giving anything back.

When I first met granny she told me how much she wanted to see him again. He hadn't been heard from for several years. Every day, she told me, she prayed for him to come home.

My second son is in school, has a job in DC, and this week, we moved him into student housing. And yet, I look at his diminishing frame and I can not celebrate his steps forward because I know that he still is using drugs. I know that it is a matter of time before he overdoses or goes to jail or fails at school or work because he isn't free from his addiction or even at a place where he will acknowledge his need. I asked God why He doesn't answer my prayers for my boy and God brought granny to my mind.

A few years before she passed away, granny's wayward son returned home and lived there with her at the family home place. Others in the family saw that he was using her; living off of her. To granny, it was God's answer to her prayers. He was unchanged, but he was home where she could see him, feed him and care for him. When she died, she left the home place to him. He was there scarcely a year before, without telling his brother, he sold it and left. God provided him with a mother's love, a home and opportunity. God answered granny's prayers to see her son again. Only her son knows how God is working in his life at this point.

God hears all my prayers for my son and I see the answers to many: give him a hope and a future, keep him safe. How can I question whether God will answer them all or not? Why do I slip so quickly into despair over this boy's behaviors? I don't know how God will answer but I must believe and hold onto the truth that He will answer. It gives me an odd comfort to think of granny's faith and her hope in God in spite of her son's unchanging behavior. It speaks to me of belief in God's ability to move and change what we see as improbable or even impossible.


Susan said...

Yes, Kathy...He is hearing your prayers. He is working. I so wish He would work the way I want Him too! But He usually has an even better plan. It may not SEEM better at the time, but it always is.

Praying for you and your prodigal. Glad he is making some strides in the right direction. Praying the addictions are soon behind him.



He Knows My Name said...

I love this granny and I don't even know her. I want to finish this life out praying for my kids and never giving up. I can't say that yet because the Lord knows some days I don't lift them up and I don't even want to face their stuff. It's hard, the pain is always there under the surface of my mood as you well know. This granny was one smart and tough lady in many of the ways my grandma was who had 2 alcoholic children whom she burried both in middle age.

It may be this new environment will expose him to good things, new people he will want to emulate. I needed to be reminded about God hearing my prayers. much love to you ~janel