The last few years before he died, when his health was bad and he was in a wheelchair and depended completely upon her for his care, were the worst years. She humiliated him in front of us by checking his pants to see if he had "messed". She reported to anyone who would listen, posting it on facebook, how many times he had an accident and how often she was having to clean him up. She attempted to expose his backside so she could show his sores. Daddy told me to leave it alone; don't say anything or "she'll make me pay". Keeping his request to remain silent was one of the most difficult parts of it.
Listening to her attempts to confuse him and manipulate his feeling about his children was another. She told him many times that we weren't visiting him and we didn't care about him. Several people told me I was lucky to have someone take care of him, as if I didn't want to do it, as if her assertions that I didn't love him were correct. I lived five hours away and had two girls in school and even if I could have gotten time to get away, she would have none of it. She griped and complained that we wouldn't help. NOBODY will help and yet she refused the help we offered. My niece offered to come and help and she accused her of wanting her house. We offered to pay for a nurse and she was insulted. What she wanted was for daddy to will her his little rambler and the 30 acres of dirt it sits on. She wanted him to think that she alone deserved it because she alone loved and cared for him.
He left her a life estate.
When he was dead, she rid the house of all his belongings and proceeded to Internet date. She gave 100,000 dollars to a man in Arizona because she thought he was going to marry her and give her a million dollar house to live in. When that was revealed to be a scam, she moved on to local Internet dating and has landed herself a widow from her hometown, who's also in a wheelchair.
I just need to tell her 29 years of pent up anger and frustration. I need to say "STOP what you are doing and saying and STOP lying about me and my family and GET OUT of our house and STOP calling yourself by my daddy's last name you hateful, nasty, bitter woman!"
I feel better.