Thursday, January 19, 2012


My daughter's boyfriend's dad died this week.  He had pancreatic cancer.

His sickness began at the same tender time they began to date and it's dark presence has been between them the year and a half they've been together.  She has born up under her boyfriend's inability to include her in his family.  He has kept her at a distance from them, even as he has jumped into ours.  We are even further out of  the circle, so much so that our presence at their home now would be intrusive.

It is so painful to be on the periphery of such a great loss; to care and to pray and to hope and to grieve with someone from a distance.

3 comments:

nancygrayce said...

I'm so sorry he's held her far from his family. She could have gotten to know his dad and had those memories for life......I hope they can push through this.

I'm so excited to see you blogging again! I miss you when you're not here!

Sara said...

I don't know who you are, but my sincerest sympathies are with you all. I can relate to the hurt you feel.

When my boyfriend and I began dating about 6 months ago, his mom had just died weeks prior to me meeting him, on the night of our first date, his dad had a heart attack and passed away. Our relationship is a long distance one, so I don't know any of his family. Since then, he's held me on the other side of his life away from his family. Two weeks ago, his aunt passed away. She was like a mother to him, so this loss was equally as tough as losing his parents. I have still yet to meet any of his family, and can understand the pain and difficulty your family and your daughter must feel not having that connection.

My prayers are with you all.
-Sara

S. Sibala said...

I pray that both your family and his family find comfort in these hard times-- and I pray for patience and strength.

This is a hard situation, and although your family cannot be there physically for him, just let him know that you ARE there for when he is ready to open up.